We try to be taller or make more money to get the girl.
But is that really what they want?
What can we actually do to attract her?
Things that we can control.
#1 Be A Great Leader
Leadership can be defined as the ability to give guidance and direction verbally or by modeling. It’s not about control.
Women want to feel like they are with a leader but not a dictator. In relationships, women can give us the level of trust that borders on livelihood.
It’s important that they hear from you on matters such as where you want the relationship to go and the goals you have for it. Way’s to show that you can lead are:
- Always consider the impact on the relationship instead of the individual when making a decision – your individual feelings aren’t as important as what’s going to be best for the both of you.
- Keep her needs at the forefront of the relationship – selflessness is necessary as it exhibits sacrifice.
- Initiate and engage in activities that will help the relationship grow – Showing a commitment to the mental, emotional, and physical well-being of the relationship will help to solidify the bond and attraction between you and your girl.
- Finishing what you start – This is for the small things as well as they can set the precedent for reliability
Being comfortable doing these may also show that you are excited about the relationship. You are making a concerted effort that demonstrates that you want to be there.
#2 Communicate Actively
Without getting too academic, communication is simply the exchange of ideas, needs, and desires. The essence of this concept is straightforward and uncomplicated but putting into action is all but.
It’s no secret that women talk more than men. There is a concept known as gender jabber which highlights the differences in the number of words that men and women speak. Louanne Brizendine, MD (Professor at University of California –San Francisco) has found that women speak an average of 20000 words per day and guys use about 7000 words per day.
This means that women talk almost 3 times as much as men. Guys, I’m sure that experience has taught you this.
- We need to listen more than we speak. If we try to over talk the ladies it will become competitive. They are hard wired to emote verbally and share their thoughts. If we are speaking just as much as they are, there is a chance that we are not listening to everything that.
- What you say should be substantive. Make sure (to the extent possible) that what you are saying is valuable. You don’t need to be a philosopher but you do need to ensure that you’re choosing your words wisely because you talk less. Talking less gives you less time to explain if you say something wrong or offensive. Using fewer words doesn’t always allow you to be as detailed as possible. I’m not suggesting that you talk more. I am suggesting, however, that you speak with more intent.
Mastering the art of communication is tough and different for each relationship. The way that you find out what the needs are is to COMMUNICATE. Talk about each other
- Goals and ambitions
- Fears and pains
- Beliefs and values
- Relationship with family and friends
- Expectation and guidelines for the relationship.
It’s important to note that a relationship’s needs will change depending on the season of life and you have to learn how to communicate those adjustments.
Lastly, learn to “speak her language”. Your lady will have specific tells that mean specific things. It could be nonverbal or verbal, but she has them nonetheless. Hone in on those nuanced communication methods. When you pick up on them, she will appreciate it more and you will earn more point with her.